close...so very close

This morning we had an area-wide tornado drill. Right around the time I was wrangling my class through the hallway to go to the water fountain, the city's severe weather alert sirens began to sound. Of course the kids were curious, so once we got back to the classroom I explained that the city was just testing the sirens to make sure they work. Then we talked about what the sirens were for and our class emergency plans. We talked about how, if there really were a tornado, we would line up quietly and calmly and go sit in the hallway. As conversations with 4 and 5 year olds are wont to do, the discussion evolved and we turned to other emergency plans. We talked about fires and about what to do if someone were to get hurt badly or seriously ill. They raised some very interesting questions about our emergency plans - here are my two favorites:

"What do we do if a giant attacks our school?" (I told them I'd have to check with our director on that one)

"What if a dragon attacks?" (I assume the emergency plan in this situation would be similar to that of a fire, since that is the typical mode of dragon attack)

One little genius really had me impressed for a minute.

"If there's a fire we call 9-1-1 and they ask 'where is your emergency?' and we say 'at day care' and they come and they spray the tor-may-doe down until it's little and then they blow it away."

I think he got a little mixed up somewhere in there.

Warning: contains sarcasm (and possibly peanuts)

Sometimes I feel like an old ratty doormat. I seriously have to check in the mirror to make sure I don't have WELCOME stamped on my forehead. And it's all because I'm dependable. And I'm dependable because I have perfectionist tendencies (although you would never know it judging from the current state of my house). I would love to just throw my hands up in the air and say "Screw it! I don't care!" and walk away. The problem is, I do care. And that's why I'm the doormat. Have a project that needs to be done, but you don't want to deal with it? Toss it my way. I'll seethe quietly, resenting doing your job for you, but you know I'll do it anyway because it is something that needs to be done. Feel like playing hookey from work just for the hell of it? Go ahead! Don't worry about your responsibilities - the doormat is always there to take care of everything. Can't afford to play hookey? No problem! Come on in and just sit around staring at the clock! I'll take up the slack!

I think maybe I let my housework go as a rebellion of sorts from being "the dependable one." I don't feel like I can just let things go undone at work. But at home, by George, I can. And I do. And as much as I would like to believe that being able to say no to something feels good, in reality I'm just surrounded by clutter that creates a claustrophobic depression. The issue is that I'm not saying no to the things I should, the things I really want to say no to.