they know just where to hurt you

We were out on the playground taking advantage of a 70 degree afternoon last week. I was sitting in one of the swings. One of the little 3 year old girls came up behind me and started to give me a push. And then that sweet little angel said "Miss Amber, you're booty is too big!"

it makes me sick, too

One of the boys in my preschool class told me last week that his little brother wasn't at school because he was sick.

Boy: "He's got monopoly."

Another teacher (whispered): "He means pneumonia."

What is Love?

This week has been all about Valentine's Day with my preschool class. On Tuesday, we read Love is Walking Hand in Hand by Charles Schultz. When we finished the book, I thought it would be interesting to let each child answer the question "what is love?" Here are the answers they gave me:



Those kids really impressed me with their answers. Sometimes they are just plain awesome.

Boost to the Self-Esteem

When I first started working at the current daycare, one of the little girls in my class couldn't remember my name. She knew it ended with "-ber." Her mom told me a couple of weeks ago that in their house, I'm known as "Miss September."

I know, right?

Is it just me...

...or is there something slightly obscene about this drawing?

I had given my class red, yellow, and green materials to make pictures of apples this week to go along with our Farmer's Market theme, and this is the drawing that one of my girls came up with. Very thought-provoking piece of art, no?

Sometimes they surprise you

"Ms Amber, do monster trucks have monsters inside them?"

Eww. Just. Eww.

This story is not for the faint of heart. Those with weak constitutions should avoid reading this post. You have been warned.

This afternoon I was out on the playground with my class when one little 3-year-old ran up to me to tell me "I pooped." Yes, in his pants. Less than 10 minutes after I sent him to the bathroom to try to potty before recess.

So I get all of my little ducks in a line and take the class inside to deal with the issue. I send the little boy into the bathroom and get his extra clothes out of his cubby. It took less than 30 seconds.

In that amount of time, the child had pulled down his pants, stuck his finger in the poo, and pulled a chunk out to show me. Oh. My. Goodness. Children are nasty.

winter by a child's hand

how does your garden grow?

When I got to work this morning, the kids were playing on the playground. I noticed a couple of the boys from my class sitting off to the side and digging in the woodchips, so I headed over to see what they were up to.

Me: Whatcha doin'?

Hank: Planting a garden.

Me: What kind of garden?

Ryan: A veg-e-table garden.

Me: What kind of vegetables are you planting?

Hank: Carrots.

Ryan: And peas...and macaroni.

Maybe I'm the worst teacher in the world, but I didn't correct him. If he wants to plant macaroni in his garden, who am I to dash his dreams?

workin' girl

Yep. I survived my first full week in the workforce here in Arizona. I still don't know for sure yet, but I think I'm going to like the job. It's definitely better than being bored at home all day everyday.

I know it seems odd that I've worked a full week and still can't say whether I really like it or not. It's just that I really haven't been doing my job yet. And I won't until Wednesday. See, La Petite Academy doesn't just throw teachers into a classroom and wish them luck. They want to make sure the teachers know what they are doing first. So I won't completely take over my class until after a full day training session on Tuesday. I was supposed to go to the training this past Tuesday, but it was cancelled because I was the only one going. So this week my class has been combined with the early preschool class and I've been kind of standing back and watching how the other teachers do things.

While I appreciate not being thrown into a class and forced to figure it all out for myself, this whole wallflower bit just really isn't me. At least, not in a preschool. I like being in control. I like being able to run things my way. I'm a bit more of a..."structured" teacher than others. And I'm ready to have my class to myself and away from the early preschoolers. So I'm very much looking forward to Wednesday.

The good thing about this wallflower role I've been playing is that I've had a chance to watch my kids and get a feel for who they are. I've got some really neat kids. And I'm really looking forward to working with them.

Brought To You By The Letter B

On Animals

The younger four-year-olds class is currently studying an animal theme. This week's focus was animals of the rain forest. Ms Melissa was reviewing the animals they had gone over the day before by showing a picture of the animal and telling something about the animal (while showing the anteater, for example, she said "it eats ants").

The kids were really having a hard time remembering "toucan." It was obvious that the answer was dancing on the edges of their memories, just out of reach. Finally Kiera piped up as sincere as can be with "IT'S A CAN-OPENER!!!"

On Naming Children

This morning when I got to work, Mia was eating her breakfast at the table. When I walked in she told me that her husband Troy was hiding in our classroom under my desk. Yes, Mia is one of my students. She's four. After sending the imaginary Troy out to McDonald's to pick me up a sausage biscuit, I sat down at the table with Mia and we started talking. She said that when she gets old like her mommy and daddy (who are at the oldest in their early 30s) she's going to have this many kids (at which point she held up all 10 fingers). And then she started naming them all.

Star and Jade and Cinderella and Rainbow. And some boys, too - among the more memorable were Clock, Paint, Pencil, Computer, Spiderman, and Batman. And a boy named Star that will marry the girl Star, but not right away because they'll have to grow up first. Yeah.

The child kept naming children, and eventually realized she had long ago passed that limit of 10 that she had set for herself. So then she said, "I think I'll have zero-zero-one kids." That's 100 in child-speak.

"And they'll come to school here too, and when they get big like me they'll be in your class."

I love my job.

On Watermelon

"I don't like the green part...it tastes like grass."

I'm not really negligent, I promise

So, last week I mentioned that emergency personnel had to be called to the daycare to free one of my students' feet from a table that he had somehow managed to become stuck in during naptime. Yeah, I know. Naptime is an odd time to find oneself stuck in a table. And for that matter, a table is an odd object to find onself stuck in.



Anyway, I bring that little jewel of a memory up to tell you about what happened to this same child this afternoon. The kids were playing in centers. Alex was working a puzzle. I was putting my book center back together after what I can only assume was a tornado that blew through it. I had a clear line of sight to all of the children.



Evidently Alex lost track of one of the pieces of the puzzle he was working on. He assumed it had fallen on the floor, so he crawled under the table (not the same table as last week's episode of The Preschool Files) to find it. I don't know if someone startled him or what, but he ended up hitting his head on the table when he came back up. And immediately he had what appeared to be a horn above his right eye. I got him an ice pack and made sure he hadn't concussed. He was perfectly fine - except for the large protrusion on his forehead, of course. Not even so much as a headache.



Someone please tell me why it's always the kid who gets notes sent home about his inability to follow directions that ends up injured on my watch. If I didn't know any better, I'd be suspicious of me.

Here's the kicker: the puzzle piece he was looking for was underneath the puzzle the whole time.

I love my job!

Jordayn makes an adorable genie, don't you think?

here we go again

It's an annual struggle that every teacher must face. You have been with one group of children for nearly a year. You have watched them grow and change. They have improved vastly on skills and constantly amaze you with the level of independence they have achieved.

Your class is a well-oiled machine. Everyone is comfortable with the routine and their place in it. You have your little tricks and you know which ones to use with each child for maximum effectiveness.

Obviously, it's time for room promotions. Your little darlings will move on to the next teacher or the next school. You will miss them, of course. But that's not the main issue. You are actually excited for them to move on to the next teacher and build on what they have learned from you.

No, the problem is that you now have a totally new class. And they aren't at the same level in their development that you grew accustomed to with your previous class. These kids are back at square one as far as you are concerned. They are not the mature and independent little people that you have grown so used to dealing with. They need you to do more for them, because developmentally they have not yet built the skills necessary to do for themselves.

It's hard to adjust backwards. It just is not natural to regress. You have to be more patient as you constantly remind yourself that these kids are behaving normally for their age. Yes, you broke your previous class of these behaviors months ago, but it was a slow process then, and it will be a slow process now as well.

You have to learn a whole new group of kids and find the tricks that work for each one. You have to lower your expectations - at least a little bit, at least for a while.

It's tough on everyone all around. Sure, you are having trouble with it. But so are the kids. They have to learn a whole new classroom, new rules, new routines, new expectations. They have to adjust to you and your personality.

The beginning of a new school term is a very awkward time all around.

good question

This is Z's last week at preschool. He's getting ready to start kindergarten, and his parents have found someone else (read: cheaper and willing to pick him up from school so he won't have to ride the bus) to keep him after school, so they want to start getting him used to her and her place.

Now, Z has been in my class for 2 years. I've only had about 4 months as a preschool teacher without him in my class. Well, last week I started saying things like "what am I going to do without a Z in my class?" and "I won't know how to take care of a class without a Z in it!"

Friday afternoon on the playground, Z came up to me and sat in my lap in the swing and said "What am I going to do without my Ms Amber to tell me what to do?"

how does he come up with this stuff?

This story requires a bit of setup. I work at a preschool with a school-age summer program. The building that the school-age class and both 4-year old classes are in is just one big open room - no walls between the three classes. And we share 1 girls' bathroom and 1 boys' bathroom.

Today I took my class to the bathroom, as is our habit before heading off to the playground. Because I don't want to spend the entire recess standing in the doorway so that I can supervise a playground and a bathroom at the same time. Anyway, Z was messing with the keyboard from the school-age music center (which is right next to the bathrooms) and I said "Z, please don't touch that." He came back with a smartmouth mimic and I gave him the "I know you didn't just do that" look. Then Z did the funniest thing.

He stuck his finger out like he was going to scold someone and then turned it to his mouth as he said, "Mouth, don't say that! Ms Amber is my teacher!"

Fun on the See-Saw

Last Friday on the playground, Frank and Jordayn got so excited about what they could do on the see-saw. Frank is a good, sturdy little 5-year old, and Jordayn is a very petite 4-year old. Obviously, this made for some imbalanced see-sawing. Here's the video, with commentary from 5-year old Justin: